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- By MIKE KING, founding ambassador, I Am Hope Foundation
A few weeks ago, I spoke to a young person who’d finally worked up the courage to ask for help. They had spent months convincing themselves they were fine. Months pretending everything was okay while quietly falling apart.
When they finally reached out, they were told they have to wait. Not because nobody cared. Not because the people working in the system weren’t trying their best. There simply weren’t enough resources available when they needed them most. That story isn’t unusual. It’s become normal.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve convinced ourselves that a mental health system is working as long as people eventually get help. We measure waiting lists, appointment numbers and service targets, but what about the people who never make it that far? The young person who decides asking for help was a mistake. The teenager who withdraws while waiting for an appointment. The parent who watches their child struggle and feels powerless to help.
We’ve built a system that often waits until people are in crisis before support becomes available. Yet when it comes to mental health, we’ve become strangely comfortable with waiting.
Over the years, through Gumboot Friday and I Am Hope, I’ve met thousands of young people. Most weren’t experiencing severe mental illness. They were dealing with challenges that, left unaddressed, became something much bigger. Self-worth, family conflict, bullying, grief, loneliness, identity, relationships.
What they needed wasn’t years of therapy. They needed someone to talk to early. Someone who could help them understand what they were feeling before those feelings became overwhelming.
The frustrating thing is we already know this works. Every counsellor knows it’s easier to help someone who seeks support early than someone who has spent years suffering in silence. Every teacher knows it’s easier to support a student before they disengage from school. Every parent knows it’s easier to solve a problem when it first appears than when it’s ignored. Yet we continue to pour most of our effort into responding to crises instead of preventing them.
We need hospitals, specialist services and acute care, but we should be investing just as heavily in making sure fewer people need them in the first place.
We’ve come a long way in talking about mental health, but talking isn’t the same as supporting it. Real progress won’t be measured by how efficiently we respond to crises.
It’ll be measured by how many we prevent. Because by the time someone ends up on a waiting list, there’s a good chance they’ve already been waiting far too long.
Under 25 and need someone to talk to? Book a free counsellor at gumbootfriday.org.nz – no GP referral needed.
